Mommies Who Drink

Discussion Questions

The subtitle of Mommies Who Drink is Sex, Drugs, and Other Distant Memories of an Ordinary Mom. Given that Brett has been an actress on TV, do you think of her as “ordinary”? Do you identify with her experience as a new mother? If so, which parts of her experience ring true to you? Which are the experiences that make her “ordinary”, which are not?

When Brett starts to venture into the world with her new baby, she finds it difficult to fit in with the other moms. She says, “I can’t cook. I don’t do crafts with dried pasta and glue on rainy days. Talking to other mommies makes me want to bite them.” Do you think that her perception of herself as an outsider is accurate? Do you think that there is a real difference between Brett and the moms in the mommy group or at the pre-school? Or is Brett more like them than she realizes?

When Brett does find a group of moms with whom she identifies, they are the moms at Happy Hour. The three other women in the book are actually composites of the women that Brett still meets with on Fridays. Their stories are real, but Brett has mixed them up into three iconic characters: a single mom, a gay mom, and an unmarried mom in a bi-racial relationship. Do you think that these three, along with Brett, accurately represent the many different faces of motherhood? How diverse are the backgrounds of the moms you know? Do these three seem “ordinary” to you?

During one conversation at the bar, Brett says, “I find myself on that peculiar planet women meet on, where being together in that moment is enough.” What does she mean by that? Do the conversations at the bar seem realistic to you? What do you think about the fact that they rarely talk about their children? Are there subjects you wish they talked about more?

What do you think of Brett’s relationship with her husband Pat? Do you find him a sympathetic character? What do you think of the fact that Brett seems to need the company of other women even though she seems quite close to her husband?

One of the more provocative aspects of the book is Brett’s admission that she did a number of recreational drugs in her youth. Do you think that her past is similar to that of other women her age? Why do you think Brett found it necessary to dwell on her past as a particularly carefree one?

When Brett has her miscarriage she is watching a Made for TV Movie. While she’s watching, she gets into an argument with her husband and admits to herself, “I know that this is what I’ve been wanting since this morning when Dr. Sammy told me my pregnancy wasn’t ‘viable.’ I’ve been wanting true drama. Big stakes. I’ve been wanting some yelling, some screaming.” It seems like Brett’s making a comparison between the drama she’s experiencing in her life and the one she’s watching on TV. What are the differences between the drama in our real lives as opposed to the way we see the same event on TV? Do TV and film representations of real life events alter our perceptions of the way things should go in our daily lives?

Brett refers to God and Religion quite frequently. Do you find this at odds with a mom who imbibes with her pals on Friday afternoon? Do you think that having children intensifies one’s interest in spiritual matters? Brett and Pat disagree strongly about religion. Do you think that religious differences are common between parents? Do you think that the arguments that Brett has with Pat about religion is a healthy one? Does anything get solved?

A reviewer from BUST magazine said that the book was filled with little epiphanies. Brett has one of these epiphanies when she understands why she wants a second child so badly. She says, “I want for my child what I have. A witness. Someone who will say, ‘Yes it is true. Yes I was there. We were so very loved.’” What are some of the other epiphanies in the book? What are some universal epiphanies that most parent’s end up having?

Near the end of the book Katherine mentions the old parenting joke, “There are two kinds of people in the world: those who have children and those who don’t. And those who don’t, don’t know that there are two kinds of people in the world.” What is the meaning of the joke? Do you think it’s true?

Brett discusses her shortcomings quite freely in the book. Do you think this makes her more or less sympathetic? Do you think that women should share their fears and insecurities so freely with each other?

Brett discusses her unhappiness as a new mother, her miscarriage, fertility issues, religion, death, and her fear of losing her children. Yet the book is extremely funny. What makes it so funny? Do you find her ability to find laughter in the midst of pain attractive or alienating? Do you think that finding the humor in tragedy shows us a person who has dealt with that pain, or one who is denying it?

Many readers have said the book reads more like a novel than a memoir. What do they mean by that? Is it because of the way the book is structured? As a writer, Brett relies a great deal on metaphor and dialogue – do those two devices have anything to do with giving the book a more “novelistic” feel? Within the chapters, Brett often drops out of the situation to remember something else. Is this a common device in memoirs, or is it more prevalent in novels?

Did you notice that most of the book takes place in Brett’s head? Very little actually happens. Do you like the feeling of being “inside” her thoughts? Do you think that the fact that so much happens in Brett’s imagination gives her the ability to say things she could never say in real life? What are some examples of this?

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